The Confidence Queens Academy

This is what growth looks like

JJ, your Confidence and Mindset Coach here.

Are you ready for some insights? Well, I guess, that's why you're here right?! 

Queen

 

We’re into week 3 of Master Yourself, where we’re taking Action to create sustainable habits that hold us accountable to who we are, and what we hold as values in our life.

 

I want to be clear on the journey you’re taking. Mastering Yourself is a lifelong endeavour, it does not end with this module. It’s something you will continue striving to do, provided that you have set the right habits in place, throughout your life. But you know what? You’ve got the time. A full lifetime, in fact. 

 

You’re at a unique advantage to be able to Master Yourself. You get insider knowledge on who you are, and it doesn’t take long to figure things out once you start paying attention. You have what you need to put in the work, and it will pay off, that’s my guarantee to you.

 

Provided, of course, that you’re facing a variety of different challenges and tackling new things. Which we all do, in some way or another, as we move through life. How big or small those challenges and new experiences are is down to you, and you alone.

 

And provided that you’re paying careful attention to yourself when you have the time and space to do so. If you’re spending long hours seeking distraction (e.g. I love binge-watching my Netflix series, but there’s a time and place that I’ve set aside for that) then obviously, Mastering Yourself is probably going to happen a lot slower than you would like. Distraction includes work and family. Hold up, you’re not setting those aside. No no, it’s not about that all. Your practice includes how you address your relationships, your work, your career ambitions, and any other interactions you have. Mastering Yourself isn’t something you do for the outside world and discard once you’re back home. Make it a point to always be in tune with yourself, how you’re feeling, and where things are headed for you. It’s by staying in tune that you catch yourself before things derail. If you’re having a conversation with a partner and you start to feel yourself get mildly irritated, it’s time to tune in and reposition yourself in a way that the conversation stays focused on healthy communication, as opposed to degenerating into a counterproductive fight. If you’re at work and an urgent matter comes up, also tune in. Neither work nor your family are excuses to tune out, so do not use them as an excuse to cop out of doing the work!

 

The reason why it’s a lifelong endeavour isn’t because it’s difficult, so to speak. It’s because you’ll find that you change quite profoundly as you go along your path. As you learn more about who you are, and intentionally commit to your Self Mastery practice, you’ll find that your habits and attitudes start to change. Which means that the environment around you will also start to change. People will react to you differently, and the opportunities that you have will become more aligned with who you are. You’ll also be attracting different types of people than you’re used to dealing with previously. 

 

And with a change in environment, you’ll find that you’re facing different circumstances, and getting different reactions from you, which you have to learn to master in turn. And so the cycle repeats.

 

This is what true growth looks like. It’s a process that doesn’t end as long as we continue to breathe. The one thing is… this concept is easy to grasp theoretically, but much more difficult to handle in reality.

 

As things change, you’ll need to adapt to new circumstances. Well, guess what? When we’re faced with new circumstances, our brains reach out for old solutions to tackle the problem. You’ll know by now that old solutions are not necessarily adapted to new situations. Your brain is going to automatically reach out to what’s familiar to it.

 

That’s all fine and good, it’s a natural reflex. However, you might feel like you’re falling “back into old traps”. Rest assured you will not, as long as you keep something in mind. 

 

A part of Mastering Yourself entails being curious and open to new experiences. As opposed to being stubbornly married to habits, reflexes and knowledge that you previously acquired. And that curiosity and openness needs to come with patience and kindness towards yourself. There is no shame in encountering a new situation, and it is not a reflection on you that you do not (yet) know how to address the situation. 

 

As long as you keep an open mind, and stay non-judgmental towards yourself as you continue learning and growing, you will stay within your power as Master of Yourself.

 

All right Queen, with all that being said, it’s time for you to put in the work. Be patient with yourself, and question, instead of judging your actions, emotions and reactions. My previous blog here has some excellent tips on how to reposition yourself when you need to, so if you haven’t read it yet, I would strongly encourage you to do so!

 

And if you don’t already have a journaling habit… Self Mastery is an excellent time to start. Journaling gets you into the habit of doing extensive soul-searching, and articulating your thoughts and feelings in writing. I created a specific course here to help you develop a journaling habit that will stick.

 

Over to you Queen.

 

Fix your crown.

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