The Confidence Queens Academy

Developing Sustainable Self-Confidence by Fusing Personal & Professional Development, To Transform Prospects & mindsets

If you can see it…

JJ, your Confidence and Mindset Coach here.

Are you ready for some insights? Well, I guess, that's why you're here right?! 

Queen

Let’s get real for a second. We both know that you’re not going to get something just because you wished for it. Those cases where someone gets a knock on the door and it turns out to be their soulmate on the other side, those occur much more often in (bad) TV shows than real life. Uncovering a massive treasure in the basement of a newly purchased home… again, reserved more for (really, really bad) movies. 

There’s work that goes into making things happen. If you’re wishing that you could sell a product, you’ll have to create that product then reach out to potential buyers, or at least get some advertising up. If you want a promotion, more likely than not it won’t just be spontaneously offered to you, so you’ll need to put in the request and make your case. If you want a new job, you’re going to have to apply for one. Even people who are approached for a new job will need to pull together a CV and be convincing as to why they’re the right candidate. It all requires work.

We’re dedicating this month to the practice of self visualisation, where we practice the outcomes that we want before walking out into the real world with our hopes and dreams. I had used the analogy in a previous post of a flight simulator, where you get to practice before actually taking a plane into the air. Now, when you use a flight simulator, you know what your goal is: taking off, piloting, and landing, all safely. You also know why you’re doing it: you want to become a pilot, or you want to take on a new challenge, or maybe you just want to know what it looks like in the pilot’s seat.

With Visualisation, you need to also define your what and your ‘why’ to get the most out of the exercise. You need to set a goal for yourself, and understand the importance of that goal to your personal development. The goal needs to be SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. There’s only so far you can get with vague notions… which is not far at all! It also needs to be grounded in reasons that further your personal development. While it’s nice to pursue a fleeting interest, or spend some time on something out of pure curiosity, you cannot achieve sustainable growth without determining your why. Why do I want to embark on my new pursuit? How will that pursuit impact me in a positive way? What will it help me achieve in the long-term? Who would I become once I’ve achieved my goal? 

Now, I know that imagining happy, positive things is a lot easier to do when you’re feeling happy and positive. That’s a fact. If you’re down, depressed, feeling pessimistic, or maybe recently faced a rejection (personal, professional, or other), it’s going to affect how your brain works.

So, I’ve got a quick visualisation exercise for those of you who are experiencing some difficult emotions, to help you to keep up your Visualising Yourself practice. Inside The Academy, you can check out the Revealing Your Future Self Training. It’s so simple, literally a 4-minute guided visualisation that will help you to set your mind and from there you can create your future self by journaling in the workbook what you visualise your life to look like in 5 years. It’s such a great and valuable exercise, I totally recommend it and my clients really enjoy it. Here’s the LINK.

I’ve also got something else for you to try. Take one happy moment in your life. It could be anything really, as long as it’s something that genuinely made you feel really really good. If you’re really struggling with this one, then think of something that makes you happy. It could be something like cute puppies, the taste of your favorite ice cream, the thrill of a rollercoaster ride (I love rollercoasters, but I get it might not be your thing), whatever it is. Take a second to write down the happy moment or the thing that makes you happy, so that you can dig it up when you’re struggling.

Put everything else that’s happening in your life on hold for a few moments, find a quiet space, and conjure up that moment or the image of that thing. Go through the happy time, play with the puppy, savor the ice cream, and get on that ride. Let the emotions from this memory or thing intensify until you’ve reached feelings of actual happiness. Keep going until you feel your energy is driving you into a more positive space. 

This is a really simple trick that’s used in psychotherapy, and an obvious one to boot. It’s also highly effective. But, as with anything else, it requires that you put in the time to do it. Make that time for yourself Queen, because you deserve that time.

Now, get to getting happy, and get to Visualising Yourself.

Fix your crown.

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