The Confidence Queens Academy

Developing Sustainable Self-Confidence by Fusing Personal & Professional Development, To Transform Prospects & mindsets

Hello, new friends, I’ve been waiting for you.

JJ, your Confidence and Mindset Coach here.

Are you ready for some insights? Well, I guess, that's why you're here right?! 

Queen,

 

How is the unleashing? Yes, we have entered week three of Unleash yourself and you’ve created a steady momentum of wins! I see how that positive, ‘I Can’ attitude is penetrating the atmosphere and that exuberant glow of success radiates off you.

 

Yet, there you are, starting to feel a little… anxious, and you don’t even know why!

 

I know why, Queen, let me tell you what’s going on. 

 

You see, that cadence of positivity and glow of success you have going on all around you is not only being seen by all, it’s being felt by all. And it’s putting some people’s noses out of joint. 

 

Let’s look at what has happened as part of your transition…

 

You made the decision to choose yourself, and stuck to it. You reset your foundation and began putting yourself first. You reassessed what you wanted for your life and decided to take a stand and go after it and the work you have been putting in is beginning to pay off for you. You (and everyone else), can see your growth.

 

The consequence of this is that you were no longer available for pity parties, you were no longer available for being taken for granted, you were no longer available for betraying your own boundaries, which meant you were definitely not available for other people to betray your boundaries. 

 

That has raised some eyebrows, people are thinking, ‘she’s changed, and they may, or may not like the change’, but it’s ok. It is to be expected.

 

We talked about staying the course in last weeks Blog I listed the things you need to do to help you reaffirm your new self and adapt to your new environment. This week I’m going to help you overcome the feeling you get when you feel the people around you don’t want you to grow or are somehow holding you back. That feeling that causes you to feel stuck between a rock and a hard place as you decide what’s more important, your personal growth journey or your friends. Yes, I said it, the very question you’ve been trying to avoid, it’s here, and it’s time to answer it.

 

Now, you may have forgotten, I’m a Certified International Feel The Fear and do it anyway Trainer, I also have an amazingly transformational programme called Feel the fear, and that question, that predicament happens with all of my clients… It also happened with me. 

 

I’m going to share some things I learned about from chapter 6 of the Feel the fear and do it anyway book by Dr Susan Jeffers. It’s vital to understand how this works because trust me when I say, EVERYONE goes through this. Well, everyone who begins the journey to better themselves, to achieve their own goals and walk in their purpose, basically, everyone like you goes through this. 

 

As Susan Jeffers says, “both inside and outside of your home, you begin to realise that some of the significant people in your life, don’t seem to like the changes in you, even if the old you was a total wreck!” 

 

You see, in the beginning when you announced to the people closest to you that you were going to make some changes, they were supportive. They encouraged you. They told you to go for it because you deserve to be happy. However, they didn’t expect it to really happen. After all, how many times have you said you were going to change before, but never did? We all do it, the thing is, some people were expecting you not to follow through, or to follow through but not let it impact them. Hence… Nose Out Of Joint!

 

It’s ok, they are not intentionally trying to hurt you, they just became accustomed to interacting with you a certain way. They got used to treating you a certain way. But suddenly they are seeing you are no longer allowing that to happen. The pattern is broken and they need to understand how to accept the changes… Yes, it’s not a ‘YOU’ problem, it’s a ‘them’ problem.

 

So, what do you do now? You were already operating outside of your comfort zone, you don’t want to feel like you’re casting people aside, you don’t want to suddenly lose your friends who you’ve known for so long. Or fight with family members. Especially not at a time when you most need people around you to support you in this stage of your journey. You want to keep going with your newfound courage and confidence. You want to keep creating cadence and wearing the glow. So, you begin to process feelings of uncertainty inside of your body.. Remember, that’s what the ‘old’ you used to do. 

 

The feelings of uncertainty are familiar to you and your body is slowly retreating, without you even being aware of it! One minute you are celebrating your wins with your nearest and dearest and, the next minute, Ta da! Just like that, out slips anxiety. 

 

So you need to have a word… with yourself! 

 

You need to take a good look around you, look at the people you have in your life. How do they fit into your growth journey? 

 

When you are going to meet them, do you begin to feel nervous? Do you feel free to discuss your exciting escapades with them? If you do, how do they respond? 

 

Do you feel like sharing is going to be received as ‘bragging’? Do you feel your positive energy is not welcomed so you have to think of something ‘heavy’ or negative, just to fit in? 

 

If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, then you know it’s time to reassess the people in your life, almost the same way you reassessed your environment last week.

 

You are likely to be experiencing an internal battle when it comes to being with these people, You have a habit and a sense of loyalty to spend time with them, but your higher self, your intuition, is creating a feeling inside you that makes you want to stay away because negativity is contagious and you can feel the impact on your energy. You’re having an internal battle because deep down, you know. You know you’ve outgrown this space. And that’s ok.

 

As you begin your transformation, you will automatically be drawn to other people in the same journey as you, and you will also draw these people to you, but you need to create some space away from where you are and put yourself out there allowing others to find you.

Let go of the guilt, remember, it’s presumptuous to think you’re old friends can’t ‘cope’ without you. Also, you’re old friends may begin to see the value and decide to go through their own transformation in time. This is why it is important not to dim your light to be around them, or anyone. 

 

  • Give yourself permission to let go of old ties. 
  • Give yourself permission to make new friends.
  • Give yourself permission to want new things.
  • Give yourself permission to keep shining, no matter what.

 

Because, Queen, that is what you truly deserve and that is how you continue to unleash the best of you as you experience this world in a new way.

 

If you need more support in this area, or you’re unsure how to process your feelings about this, you know where to find me. 

 

Let me know in the comments section below if this is something that has impacted you, or maybe is impacting you now. Ask me your questions below.

 

Then, fix your crown!

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