It’s something we’re taught we have to do. How often have you heard it be said that if you want a successful relationship, you have to “meet him/her half way”, aka compromise. Or that you have to strike a bargain to get what you want. How about that if you’re inflexible, you’ll find yourself faced with unnecessary roadblocks. That’s good, sound advice but well… there’s a problem. Nobody really teaches us what this “compromise” is.
In business, the principle is that a good compromise leaves both parties unhappy. In relationships, a lot of our real world experience is that it can look or feel like giving up on something really important to you, but without necessarily reaping proportionate benefits.
I don’t like that. I don’t believe you need to walk away unhappy when you compromise, or get shorted for little to no reason.
You can CHOOSE YOU in every aspect of your life. And that applies to this so-called “compromise” that everyone speaks about. How? Well… by setting boundaries and holding on to what is important to YOU.
I know you’ve been in a situation where you have given up something important to you, in the name of compromise. I know I have (and I’ve shared a story about over-compromise here that you might find interesting). It feels bad. Really, really bad. It feels like you’ve disappointed yourself, like you can’t trust yourself, like what you held so dear actually didn’t matter.
Ultimately, it can lead you to feel like you are unable to rely on yourself… and therefore unable to Help Yourself.
Our work here will continue to be to break free from old patterns, and to establish new ones. So Queen, as you go through this month’s Helping Yourself work, I want you to really challenge yourself to set and uphold your boundaries.
One more thing. If you don’t already, I highly encourage you to start journaling. It has a wealth of benefits generally for mental health, but it also gives you a safe space to express yourself. I regularly post journal prompts on the Confidence Queens Academy Facebook page – which reminds me…have you liked and followed the page? If you’re not in The Academy, this page is where you can keep up to date, get the weekly journal prompts, see what books we are reading in our VIP book club, see the upcoming coaching and training events etc. Just click HERE and don’t forget to hit like and follow.
So, go ahead and buy yourself a journal, and you can take inspiration from some of these prompts to get you started! Take note of those times that you hold firm to your boundaries, and how it feels. I guarantee you it will feel liberating or even exhilarating!
If you’re struggling with setting boundaries at work, you can check out my Confidence Queen’s Academy course on “How to Say ‘NO’ with Confidence & Grace in the Workplace”. There are tonnes of additional resources to accompany this course as it’s such an important topic. You’ll find a lot of the themes and principles apply inside and outside of work.
Queen, I would like to hear from you. What does compromise mean to you? Can you remember a situation in which you compromised, but you walked away feeling less worthy in the process? Can you identify what boundaries were crossed, and what you could have done differently if the situation arose again? Leave a comment below, or post a comment in the VIP Facebook Group or in the CQA Discord Channel, wait, did I forget to mention we have just launched our public Discord Channel?
So, go ahead, click here and join us, it’s brand new, it’s called The CQA Social Lounge and it’s a where we can hangout outside of the main social media channels!
Set those boundaries, Queen, and hold firm.
And… Fix your crown.